Oh, Mexico

Bueno, so we missed last year's trip down to San Carlos due to the fact that Mexico is apparently now a WAR ZONE and I have a hard time exposing my children to areas where there is even the slightest chance of getting shot and/or kidnapped. Because I'm a good mom like that.

But somehow I got over that small issue because we did, in fact, drive down to San Carlos for the annual trip to my mom and Jim's condo. Happy to say that we didn't get in the middle of any drug deals gone wrong. It was actually a pleasant trip; we made sure that we filled up on gas before we crossed the border and drove during the day and all was well. And it's really only the getting there that makes me nervous. The actual condos are in a very safe and secluded area. It. Was. GORGEOUS. The water is so warm and the place we stayed was really nice.



Mason and Quinn are both part fish, so they were in the water most of the time. Another nice thing about this beach is the waves are small and we can let them go in by themselves and sit on the beach and watch without any danger of their getting knocked down or sucked away. Always a plus.

Cardon got to see the ocean for the first time. He wasn't too sure how he felt about it. LOL



Jim was nice enough to take the boys and Jake out for a sail on the catamaran. Made me a little nervous, but they had a blast.



Anyway, we had SUCH a good time. Definitely won't miss it again if we can help it.

One funny thing; Jake and I took the ocean kayaks out to a small island out in the bay to snorkel. Well, on the way there we saw something in the water that we first thought was a large sea turtle due to it's size and shape. But as we got a little closer, we realized that it was instead a large, bulky packages wrapped heavily in plastic and tape. You can bet that we paddled away as fast as we could muttering, "We didn't see anything...we didn't see anything..." LOL Can't be too careful!

Having an ADHD Kid

I call ADHD the “Things Could Be Worse” Disorder. I have a son who is smart, and sweet, and loving. He isn’t lost in a dark hole like some Autistic kids can be. And thank heavens he doesn’t have any major physical afflictions or life-threatening diseases. Things could definitely be much, much worse.

But. They could also be better.

Day in and day out, life is a fight. A fight to get him to focus and complete tasks. A fight to get him to stay calm and minimize extreme emotional outbursts. A fight to get him to interact with other kids in a normal, healthy way. And this is only at home. At school—well, let’s just say that I have the upmost love and respect for teachers who are working with my son. I send him off on the bus each morning with a prayer in my heart that he has a good day. A day free of an emotional meltdown is like a burst of pure sunshine in my heart.

When you have an ADHD kid, you have your teacher’s number on speed dial. You know her email address by heart. You are familiar with terms like 504 and IEP. You get daily feedback on how his day was, and many, many afternoons spent with him being grounded afterschool. You have a child who hates going to school, and has a special desk in the back to go when he just can’t focus or sit still. Which…happens a lot.

When you have an ADHD kid, you can’t just drop him off for birthday parties. Mason is “that kid.” The one that is different. He wants friends (and has a few), but the other kids can tell that he just acts—different. One of his kindergarten teachers (yes, we had a couple) told me that it was good to have Mason in her class “so the other children can learn to interact with kids that are special.” Uh, thanks?

It breaks my heart. I just dread the day when he notices it too.

As with most kids, Mason’s issues can’t be nice and neatly packaged in the “ADHD” category. He also has Sensory Processing Disorder and falls a little on the Autistic scale as far as emotional and social issues. But like kids with Aspergers, people don’t understand why he acts the way he does. ADHD has been so overdiagnosed that it is now more of a punchline; not a real disorder to be taken seriously. Even after explaining the situation to people, they just don't seem to get it. (I mean, there's a pill for that, right?) Most assume he is just a “bad kid” or, much more likely, that we are just “bad parents.” I can’t tell you how often we have been told (especially when he was younger) that all we needed to do to “fix” him was read this book or implement this parenting style. If only.

By all other accounts, he seems like a normal kid. He is very smart and very articulate. He has an imagination that is magical. He is like the MacGyver of children—he can make remarkable toys out of a paperclip, some tape, and a cardboard box. He loves superheroes and playing on the computer. His “good” days are awesome! Unfortunately, days without a screaming session in his room are very few and far between. And it’s not like he wants to be the kid who is in trouble all the time. He really does try. I can see him physically restraining himself sometimes from acting out. It is just so hard for him.

As for getting him help, the question isn’t what have we tried, but rather what haven’t we tried. We have been going to a developmental pediatrician since he was three years old. We have done occupational therapy, behavioral therapy with a psychologist, met with a child psychiatrist, and had him tested by the school district. I have spent literally HOURS researching on the internet. Mason has terrible allergies and there is a link between allergies and ADHD, so we have regular visits with an allergist. I recently read a great book (Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies) that links food allergies specifically to behavior. So we started him on the gluten free/casein free diet (no milk or wheat). We also had him tested and found that he is allergic to wheat, soy, eggs, and all nuts. Great. That took out about 90% of his regular diet (not to mention it costs a fortune to implement), but we are doing it and waiting to see if it helps. We have him on Omega-3 supplements, DMEA supplements, iron and magnesium supplements. And, yes, we have even tried a round of ADHD drugs, which didn’t seem to help enough to justify the side effects.

It is all just about as exhausting as it sounds. But that is what you do when you are a parent. It’s part of your job. And if love could heal, there wouldn’t be a sick child on the face of this planet, let alone Mason.

At the end of the day, I do feel incredibly hopeful. Mason is a great kid. He has just been given a set of challenges that go a bit above the norm. But I know he is going to be okay. The good news is that many ADHD kids vastly improve as they get older. In the meantime, you keep searching to find ways to help him help himself. You don’t stop trying and you don’t give up. You remind him everyday how wonderful and special he is and how much you love him—just the way he is.

Less than Perfect

I wish I were skinny, and stylish and chic. (I realize that “stylish” and “chic” are pretty much the same thing, but they made the sentence work…) I wish I were crafty and had an amazing sense of design. I wish were incredibly organized and motivated. I have an intense love/hate relationship with all of these blogs (mostly Mormon, some not) written by these gorgeous, skinny, stylish, ridiculously creative and organized women (some of who I know and love). Hate: Bleh, shoot me. And yet, Love: Oooo, pretty!

Unfortunately, at the moment, I am none of those things. I am not skinny and not very stylish. The style that I do have is usually an attempt to imitate, and not born out of any innate sense of my own--so that even when I do manage to pull together a really cute look, it is completely by accident. My house is usually verging on the messy side at any given moment, and sometimes even veering into “disaster zone” area depending on what is going on. I am not that engaging as a stay-at-home mom; if I can make myself sit through a game of Candyland I feel pretty good about the day. That is why we suit up and get out of the house as soon as possible—there are just too many distractions that can (and will) take me away from my children if we stay in (and one big distraction for them, called the TV).

My home décor is not modern or cute. It is pretty generic. I don’t shop at Anthropology—I shop at Target and Forever 21 and (gasp!) Walmart. And I don’t throw themed dinner-parties for my kids (or neighbors, or friends) on a random weekday or decorate to the nines depending on the season. We are not foodies, or vegetarians (although we probably should be), and don’t even eat organic (although this one I really do want to do). Our evenings are not filled with culture and refinement; they are filled with cheesy reality TV and sci-fi movies.

The truth is, my life is pretty much the opposite of these beautiful lives that I see in these blogs. I admire what these women do and how they live—but it is not, nor will it ever be…me. So why do I feel like a bit of a failure because it won’t? It is one thing to want to be a better YOU, but it is an entirely different thing to want to be a better…somebody else. And I am not, alas, Somebody Else.

Even though my house is usually a mess and not very stylish, it is full of love. (Love and sometimes yelling and screaming, but still…LOVE, I SAY!!!) My kids are told everyday—several times each day—how much we love them. True, I don’t sit down and play games hours on end, or make holiday crafts with them (heck, even getting through homework is a miracle); but we are always out and about visiting libraries, museums, and the zoo. I can turn even the most mundane trip to the park into an adventure (bugs and puddles and sand tunnels, oh my!). And last night during bath time I taught them about the human digestive system (so there, cute seasonal crafts!).

This isn’t to say that I don’t have things I can or want to improve in my life, because there are. But accepting who I am and working from there is much easier than trying to be someone completely different. And even though I know this is true, I guess sometimes as I am perusing online, I have to remind myself now and then.

I am not those things and it is OKAY. I am not less for being me.

And neither are you.

Introducing...

Cardon Adams Miller



Born June 13, 2011 at 3:25 a.m.; 8 lbs 11 oz; 21 inches long.

He is the sweetest thing ever. I forgot just how precious newborn babies are. I just want to eat him up. Even when he is cranky as can be (which isn't very often) he is still completely adorable.



I always thought I would want all my kids to be really close in age--and I do really love that Mason and Quinn are so close. But to be completely honest, having the 4 years in between Quinn and this one has made things so much easier. The boys love their little brother and both of them are at an age where they don't need my constant attention; even when we are out and about. It has also given me more time to spend loving on this baby. And I am definitely loving him.



We definitely feel very blessed.

2010 - Summing it Up

So. 2010.

You know, it's an even number, so theoretically, it should have been a great year (I like even numbers). But 2010 kinda kicked my rear end. There were some really good and fun things that happened for us this year, but there were also some difficult and really not-so good things too.

In October, we took a family trip to Disneyland. That was fun and really great.



But then during the trip, we learned that Jake's dad, the kids' grandpa, suffered a major heart attack while hunting and passed away. He was out in the middle of nowhere with his youngest son who had just gotten back from his mission 5 days earlier. It was really tough and continues to be a source of sadness for us and Jake's family.



We also decided to try and take advantage of the housing market here and buy a new home. This resulted in months of searching and visiting a LOT of houses. Then when we finally found one we loved (a large one-story, perfect!) we lost it in a last minute bidding war. Kind of broke my heart. Then, after a few months, we found another house that we liked (not as much as the first, but a good second--yes I am a little bitter still). It was a dreaded short sale and we spent months thinking this just wasn't going to happen. Then, it happened. Almost. Pretty much. We are still waiting for the official letter from the bank. So that has been a roller-coaster of a ride that will be a bit scary even after we move because we are keeping our current home and renting it out. Scary. But good. But scary. You get my drift.

It has also been a good/tough year for Mason. He started kindergarten and we discovered that the kid is kind of a math wiz. Good! So they moved him to a "gifted" class of kinder and 1st grade mixed. This has been a bit of a challenge with his ADHD and sensory issues. He is so smart, but can be overwhelmed by his emotions--whether they be happy, sad, or angry--he reacts with his feelings. Needless to say, that can be an issue in a large class of kids. But at the end of the day he really WANTS to learn to control himself better and so that is a big start, I think. Now we just need to figure out the best way to give him the tools to do it.



And another reason why 2010 hasn't been a favorite is because I had to suffer through my entire first trimester in it. Oh man, being pregnant IS amazing--but it really does kinda suck. Now that I am feeling a little better, I am hoping to start enjoying it (tolerating it?) a little more, but first trimesters are THE WORST. Bleh.

So I am looking forward to 2011 with hope and maybe a bit of trepidation. It is going to be a big year: moving to a new house, having a new baby, dealing with the fact that I'll be on the downside towards 40. Yikes. And yet, Yay!

All in all, our family has been truly blessed. We have had sadness and struggles just like anyone else, but also have been given the ability to overcome them. Our Christmas card this year (sorry if you didn't get one--I wish I could send one to everyone!!) was beautiful. The photos were taken by my talented sister-in-law Tara Bowman and oh how I wish we were as perfect and idyllic as these gorgeous photos portray.



But it is our imperfections and trials as a family that make us...US. It binds us together. It helps us to appreciate what we have and what is really important. And I think as we go into this new year, as long as we remember the most important things, then we will be all right.

Beautiful Vintage Wedding

My wonderful step-brother Brett got married this past Friday. We are so happy for him! The wedding was absolutely gorgeous--totally country-shabby chic. His beautiful new wife, Hayley was stunning (I am seriously so jealous of that dress!) and the reception (held at his grandmother's home) was so adorable. The details were amazing. I only had my limited point-and-shoot, but will try and do the evening justice. Here are a few pics I took before the main event:


The main entry to the reception:




Cute seating area when you first walk in:




The main seating area was surrounded by little nooks of cuteness everywhere. No idea where her decorator got all this vintage stuff, but it was perfect! There were also photos of the couple and vintage wedding photos of their family spread throughout.



(Quinn modeling for me)





Mason in awe of the lighting:




Seating area for the Bride and Groom:






Cake and Dessert area:






I somehow failed to get a pic of Brett and Hayley together, but here is a pic of her and her gorgeous dress, and Brett with all the nephews...and one niece. LOL






And I couldn't resist on pic of an old (literally) married couple in attendance: ;)



Congratulations Brett and Hayley! Hope you are as happy as we are in your marriage!

School Daze

Helloooooooo, internet! Yes, the Miller family is still alive. :) It's been a busy few months and now things are finally settling into a routine. The first big change is that my little man Mason started kindergarten in August! I seriously can't believe it! Here is a mandatory front-of-the-house pic for you:

And then, since it was raining like crazy that afternoon when I went to pick him up (and since the kids wait outside for parents and got a good soaking before being herded into the gym) here is an after pic from pick-up:

I really love his school. It is a newer, smaller Charter school in Gilbert and they have been really great with him. He has adjusted much better than I had hoped. We were even approached by the pricipal a few weeks ago letting us know that they wanted to move him into the school's Gifted program. I was a little worried that he might be overwhelmed, but the interesting projects and faster pace of the class seems to agree with him.

Quinn is also going to pre-school two days a week for a couple of hours. That is crazy!! I practically feel like an empty-nester around here lately! LOL Guess it is way past time for us to get on filling the gap! ;)